anybody feel like lunch?

This is long one guys, so get a cuppa...

 

My point of view:

 

Let's go back to the beginning...

 

Grade 2..

 

The gala at Suid Natal...

 

My first swimming race...ever

 

EVER

 

I dive into the pool...

 

I had only done a few diving lessons, so my entry was not that graceful...

 

And one of the other kids pushed me out the way...one of those little over achievers that was born into water and grew gills at the age of two...

 

Now let's go to the spotty standard five lifesaver's point of view:

 

The Suid Natal Gala...

 

Probably his first "job" as lifesaver...

 

Trying to impress his equally spotty chick...

 

He sees a little grade 2 blonde girl going under the water...

 

Here is his chance!

 

Jumps in and saves her...

 

Back to my point of view:

 

How embarrasing! I had only recently started swimming lessons, only to be "saved" by some dumb ass when I was not really drowning at all.

 

Needless to say, I spent the rest of my primary school career on the side line at Gala's.

And during High School developed a "super sensitivity to the chlorine in the water"...

Life after school, was great, we only splashed around in shallow pools, to cool off, nobody really wondering why you aren't sporting your best breast strokes, actually they just all try and check out your breasts, everybody ascribes not swimming to being lazy (or for want of a better word, RELAXING AROUND THE POOL)..and if they ever questioned my swimming skills, I would explain the dangers of drinking and trying to swim at the same time.

 

Let me go a little deeper, (excuse the pun) I can't swim well...and I have kept it secret...Ok, maybe not secret, I have just avoided it.

Like you would avoid that lunchbox that has been sitting in your drawer for a while. You know you have to look at the contents, you are a little curious, but the fear of what has festered inside that lunchbox since you left it, is greater than the curiousity. And then I think of that old saying: "Curiousity killed the cat" and also, "I am too young to die"

 

Ok, getting dramatic on myself again.

 

Back to the point.

 

On top of the fact that I can't swim well, I have developed a fear of the "deep side of the pool" The fear is coupled with a fear of "not touching the bottom" I have added these labels to my fear, to help rationalise it.

 

And then on Saturday, I put myself in a wet suit and fins..strapped on a little waistcoat device, a mask, and made my lifeline the oxygen cylinder on my back.

 

Now to get into the water...

 

THE WATER

Water (from the Old English word wæter) is a colorless, tasteless, and odorless substance that is essential to all known forms of life and is known also as the most universal solvent

 

I feel heavier than usual,all the gear is tight on me.

 

It was actually a relief to get into the water and experience boyancy.

 

I was PETRIFIED....the childhood issue came back to HAUNT me...and I am thinking:

 

"Is it not too cold to dive?"

 

"Is the visibility not bad?"

 

"Does anybody want a beer? The shallow side looks quite attractive.."

 

Now, I have to learn to put my face in the water while breathing through the regulator.

 

The air is cold, tastes like plastic and I can't imagine it sustaining my lungs, heart and normal bodily functions.

 

But it does.

 

But how?

 

How does it work?

 

I can't breathe under water..

 

But I am?

 

Then I start freaking out and breathe too quickly and emerge from under the water...

 

It was a little embarrasing I have to admit. I am 22 and acting like a three year old does the first time her parents take her to the wading pool.

 

Calm down!

 

Ok, we are going to try swim away from the edge...ok?

 

Yes, ok...

 

 I get halfway before completely freaking again...

 

Nope, I can't do it..

 

(I had an extremely patient diving instructor)

 

I only realise much later that my waistcoat allows me to float. I also realise that I don't have to kick so hard with my fins or that I don't have to kick continually to stay where I am.

 

Eventually I am floating a couple of meter's above the surface (quite a couple) with my face in the water looking around. I am in the "deep side of the dam" and I am "not touching the bottom"

 

HECTIC.

 

But I did it.

 

Sometimes you have to look back at where the root of the problem is and how deep that root goes, to see how much you have achieved in overcoming the issue. And this will also give you the coordinates to where you want to be.

 

In conclusion, I would say I have opened that lunchbox.

 

Now it is time to throw out the contents and put some new things in here.