The colour scheme in the office today

Black and Orange! 

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

 

 

 

 

popular trend

We have 14 ladies working at the office and it is funny how there is always one colour that predominates in the office dress code. Today everybody seems to be wearing black and red. It happens quite a lot.

 

Think I will blog about it, to keep record of progression

 

 

maybe I will keep the blog going a lil longer

I like writing too much

 

 

Gareth

When I met Gareth the first time, we were at Mugg & Bean. He had his art portfolio with him, he had sketched some graffiti type cartoons. Brilliant pieces that look a lot lilke Escher's work. Escher deals a lot with positive and negative light, if you focus on the black drawings you would for example see turtles. And if you focus on the white images, you see birds. He also did quite a few progressive drawings, where a picture develops into something else towards the outer corner of a page. The pictures told a story from beginning to end.

 

Gareth had a special and amazing talent when it came to airbrushing and working with spray paint.

 

Had.

 

Gareth was in a car accident a week ago.

 

I can't help thinking of that time when I went into his flat and saw his beautiful art pieces lying on the floor, some of them torn, I told him that he must get a special folder so that they won't damage. He didn't care much.

 

We worked together when I was a waitress. He was so witty,  quoted the movies,made up silly songs and rhymes. He managed to look a lot

 

I feel so mad about what happened to him. His parents weren't there for him and he acted out by drinking. It is not fair. But as somebody said to me, people make their own choices in life and they choose the kind of life they live.

 

He managed to look a lot older and much younger than he really was, at the same time.

 

 

 

 

little things

 

So I am having a pretty shit day...started off wrong, but it is one of those things you can't talk about...and of course because you try to hide it, everybody notices something is up.

 

Anyhoo...

 

I have been asking for wrapping paper for about two months for my stationery requirements...

 

and today:

 

It has finally arrived!

 

Who needs office art when you have pretty files?

going to save all my postings this weekend

 

Sigh...

 

G'bye little blog...it has been great, got more attached to you than anything else I own...

 

 

warning bells

 

I am starting to hear them loud and clear...

 

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

"Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right". Henry Ford

 

 

our network is down AGAIN at work

:-(

 

 

mission impossible

I only enjoy my ProNutro cereal when it is not very stiff. In order to achieve this, I add lots of milk, use a little bit of ProNutro and eat it immediately. I am on a serious mission just after I have mixed my cereal.

 

"GO soldier, go go go! You only have two minutes to spare for the perfect bowl of cereal! Get out of my way everybody, MOVE MOVE MOVE"

All of this is going on inside my head of course, but from the outside, people just see my usual little approachable face, and try and talk to me.

 

BIG MISTAKE...

 

I can't stand it when somebody tries to have a long conversation with me, just as I have the bowl at the perfect consistency. Or when the phone rings just I am about to have a spoonful. By the time I get back to my ProNutro it has gone all stiff and dry.

 

Bleg...then I have to add more milk, but the stiff bits don't dissolve well and the whole bowl is an inconsistent consistency.

 

Can't handle it!!

 

My second pet hate is when I wake up, because I need to go to the toilet.

Now, I am already irritated, because I could have slept a little more, had nature not called. But it did, and now I have to deal with it.

 

So, I sneak out from under the covers. Make a dash for the loo, try and avoid all the people who have already woken up. You see, my body starts sending out those 'wakey-uppy-it-is-a-glorious-sunshiny-day' chemicals as soon as I start talking. SO, naturally I try avoid human communication to save myself from having to wakey uppy. (What gives you the idea that I am not a morning person?!)

 

Waking up earlier then 11, is something I desperately try to avoid...especially on the weekend.

 

BUT, there is always that one early bird, who tries to catch the early worm (me) And they just have to be so bloody happy about the new day, and they just have to say:

 

"GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!!! IS IT NOT A LOVELY DAY?!!!"

 

Their comment is met by me glaring at them in my most: "Yes, OF COURSE it WAS a lovely day, until you spoke to me! Have you any idea of the chemical processes you have set off in my body now?! THANKS A MILLION, I am going to make sure you have a LOVELY day today, believe me"

 

I was just going to the loo! I was not awake! Technically speaking, I am sleep walking!

 

 

 

chocolate

Ever had a situation where you wanted to kick yourself and pat yourself on the back at the same time?

 

I gave away a slice of chocolate cake today...

 

and I am so proud of myself,

yet

I regret giving it away

 

 

 

 

 

scary stuff

There is a milk shortage, due to the fact that lots of farms have closed down.

 

A month ago I paid R35.00 for a 6-pack of box milk, and this month it has gone up to R55.00!

 

 

 

 

whether the weather

It is -9! (Taking the wind chill factor into account)

Mornings like these I appreciate my job more.

I am in a nice toasty office, dressed warmly, and when I feel a little cold, I put the heater up, or ask my tea lady to make me some Milo.

Let's go back three years when I was still waitressing at Moccacino's. The restaurant was situated next to the lake, which meant in winter, the temperature was always about three degrees colder than the weatherman says. With that, it is not all indoors, and you have to be outside to man the door at all times.

The Marble tables (all 30 of them) had to be carried outside each morning at 07:00. (And, no, this job was not reserved exclusively for the guys) They were FREEZING, and had to be wiped off. Now imagine 0 degree weather, an icy cold marble stone table, and a WET cloth. We used to fill our water bucket with boiling hot water, just to get feeling in our fingers again. But by the time you get to table 20, the water cooled down again, and our hands and fingers became dumb again.

We were not allowed to drink or eat anything when on shift, and you only got a lunchbreak when you worked a double. (That means working from 7am to 12pm) So, no milo, no hot soup, we were allowed to drink water.(And we could not even have it hot)

Chantelle and I were so cold in winters that our fingers got bumps on them. We never quite figured out what the bumps were, but they looked red and were itchy.

Added onto that is the fact that you wear a uniform. You are only allowed to wear black pants, and not those thick black pants or black jeans. Flimsy ones, that when you hold them up to the light, you can see through them. And then your shirt is also flimsy, luckily we had a drymac, but it did not do much.

It was the most unthankful, toughest job I have ever had, but I could not take some days off or quit, coz I had to pay the rent.

Praying payed off, because I got my first real job at Computicket.(after working at the restaurant for two years)

But, if you excuse me now, I am going to sip the milo my tea lady just dropped off.

Aaaah, I wonder if I should not buy those teeny tiny marshmallows to put in my cup?

etiquette

 

If it flows, let it go...if it is brown, flush it down!

 

I need to print this out and put it up in our communial toilets here at the office...

 

Need I say more?

 

P U

 

 

 

 

More on the January baby

 

 

JANUARY
* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticize
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organized
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous

 

 

the sea

We were chatting the other day about how we could see the ocean from some of our classroom windows in high school.

 

During sardine season, you could see the sprays of whales and dolphins, and we would interrupt the lesson, to call everyone over to COME AND LOOK!

Wow! And this happened each and every year...but, it was still cause for calling everybody over.

 

Some mathematics lessons, I would spot a ship and follow it the whole lesson, most of the time it had not left my line of sight by the time the bell rang.

 

Now, sometimes, there were more than one ship at a time, that would be another reason for calling everybody to the window. We would ask ourselves why there are two ships and not just one....anything to avoid class, right?

 

And telling it to people who live in Gauteng now, makes me realise that we had it pretty good.

 

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When you start saying things like:

"The client does not match the job spec"

...In your sleep...

It must mean that your job is getting to you.

 

scary stuff

How many of you have seen that advert about the little boy who watched scary movies?

He goes to bed and one sees the images flicker inside his head, while he is sleeping.

 

I am that little boy!

 

Ok, not literally, I am San, not a little boy, let us try again: "I am like that little boy!'

 

I watched a scary movie on Monday, and I was fine while watching it, got scared here and there, but not as bad as I used to be.

 

But every night since then, I have been having nightmares, last night I dreamt a bunch of people and me were in a swimming pool. One of the guys bit my cheek ...mmmm, me biting that other boy as a toddler, has come back to haunt me...(refer to earlier post) but he ate like chunks of flesh out my my face, and dangled the bits between his teeth.

 

How twisted!

 

No more scary movies for me, my psychie can't handle it...

 

P U

 

 

I FOUND SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS HOUSE!

It is in the Eastern Cape at Bathurst!

 

(Yes, a giant pineapple)

 

"The world’s biggest pineapple was built between 1990 and 1992. Farmed as the biggest pineapple in the world, it is  0,9m larger than the similar one in Queensland, Australia. The giant pineapple houses a 60-seater auditorium on the ground floor, showing a twelve minute audiovisual explaining the A-Z of pineapple production. The first and second floors house static pictorial displays of local agriculture, fauna and birdlife. An observation deck on the third floor guides visitors a magnificent panorama of the entire area."

 

Who cares about the A-Z of pineapple production?!!

 

I just need to go stand below this thing and have somebody who can imitate Sponge Bob Square pant's laugh to pop out of it's front door!

 

Brilliant, brilliant.

While we are on the topic

Ok, so the idea of Karma, really fascinates me. Especially after watching "My name is Earl"

 

And number one on my list of things I need to repay to society is:

LIFTS Maybe I should become a taxi driver?  Or a tour guide operator?

 

36?

36 tomatoes in one bottle of All Gold Tomato Sauce.

 

We all know that one.

 

But.

 

How many mielies (corn) in a packet of popcorn before you pop it?

what happened to karma?

What goes around comes around.

 

Right?

 

WRONG!

 

Well, let us examine this:

 

YOU..

 

Step on other people to get what you want.

Lie about people and make up stories to get what you want

Make everybody around you miserable to get what you want.

 

And, guess what?

 

You get what you want!

 

You don't have to support anybody but yourself, which you do.

You are extremely selfish.

And you hurt the peope you are supposed to love the most, INTENTIONALLY.

 

What happened to Karma? Sigh...

try say this name with a straight face...

Sukdeo...

 

Can't do it...

 

 

Living da vida loca

One thing I learnt on Saturday night, is that you are not allowed to stand still for over five minutes in the Sandton Square.

 

We were waiting for friends in front of the bronze Nelson Mandela statue, when a security guard approached us and asked us to please stand somewhere else, seeing as though we are not allowed to stand still for more than five minutes.

 

So what did we do?

 

Paced.

 

Our friend met us and we went to dinner. We had some champagne and seeing as though Spur taught me that they don't make Champagne in South Africa, I always make it my mission to check for that line "SPARKLING WINE" on the label. When I spot this line, I laugh to myself, the way a conniosseur of champagne and fine wines would laugh at people who drink BOX wine. (Even though I drink box wine too)

 

On this particular bottle, I did not see those words. Which meant it was imported.

 

Later on, we realise that each bottle costs R880.00.

 

Mmmm, ok.

 

Then we go to the Fashion TV club, where the Peroni models were hanging out. It was fun, Michelle and I were the centre of attention, because we wore the same colour red dress. I was at the point of faking a lesbian affair to put some dudes off. But it was not needed, as my "look" did the trick. Mwa ha ha...many dudes who have tried their luck with me, know that look.

 

Afterwards we try and find our car, at that point we had both taken off our shoes and were jogging through the Sandton Mall, barefoot, looking for our car. Something we neglected to notice, is that the mall closes its' doors after 1PM in the evening. So after much time, we spot our car. But it is on the other side of the locked glass door!

 

AAAAA!

 

So we go upstairs, to find one door open, and race down stairs in the parking lot to the car.

 

What a night!

see spot run

About two years ago, we decided to cut down on our budgets and (for want of a better word) 'invested' in a cheaper washing powder.

 

A week later, I started getting spots on my body. Itchy spots ALL OVER...

 

Eventually, I figured out that I am allergic to the new washing powder and we switch back to the trusty brand and a week or two later, my spots disappear.

 

I learnt my lesson and never switched brands again.

 

Thus it was strange when a week or two ago, I started getting spots again. It could not be the washing powder for sure, because I did not switch brands. Mmmm, well by the last weekend, I was covered in HUNDREDS of spots. I am so glad it is winter and I can cover up, because it looked bad.

 

On Saturday, I decided to wash everything in my cupboard.

 

I take out the washing powder, and look on the box closely, only to notice that it IS a different washing powder!

The colour of the box was the same as always, but it was not the same type I had been using.

 

Man!

 

So now I am rewashing everything in my cupboard with the old trusted brand.

 

The spots are still everywhere though...

 

Sigh

 

 

Sans Snippet

San's Snippet

 

I own 51 pairs of shoes...

 

Going for 100...going for gold

 

 

Adventure Golf

Michelle was meeting Buyi (a friend she had not seen in 10 years) and we had time to kill, so decided to sign up for adventure golf. (It is more than GOLF, it is an ADVENTURE)

 

At first we wrote our scores down diligently (even though we dit not yet know what "par" meant and had no idea how to write the scores down) At the start of the second course, I asked Michelle if she was going to tally up the score when we were done, no, she was not. I was not going to either, so then we stopped writing it down. We were playing for fun anyway.

 

But not the couple behind us though. The man was filming his girlfriend playing shots. The strange thing is that he was recording the ball going into the hole and not her. Guess is, he goes home and tells her where she went wrong?

 

Ha ha ha...

 

 

 

 

Moyo

Get your Mojo back, yeah baby yeah! Austin Powers always seems to creep into my vocabulary...I am working on erasing the sayings from my memory.

 

Moyo is a great dining experience! If you have not tried it, make a reservation! As you walk in,you get the African feel. The decor is great, with very rough copper finishes, and predominantly earth colours. The tables outside have a couple of love seats and the waiters bring blankets to you, as the winter air is very...crisp.

 

The waitress came around and washed our hands...hygiene is important, we all know that, but it was more about the tradition. She was saying something under her breath while she poured the scented water over our hands, it sounded like a type of chant. There is something very sacred about washing your hands with close friends. It reminded me of when I was at church a while back. It was a very traditional church, my friend and I washed each others feet, as an admittance that we are all sinners, and have to be humble to one another. 

 

The food was very special, from the bread platter to the desserts.

It was highly flavoured and spicy. And I had the BEST lamb chop of my life that night.

 

As we were dishing up, Michelle had a 'leg of ham' moment. At the starter table, there were slices of cold meat. She forked up a roll, and accidentally dropped it, but caught it on her leg.

We all saw this and were quite shocked. Michelle saw our faces and said: "Don't worry I caught it on my leg!" Then she tried to offer it to one of us, but NO THANKS...ha ha

 

As part of the tradition, we also had our faces painted, watch this space for photo's!

 

 

 

 

do you want some butter with that corny joke?

JOKE

 

1.What goes "oh oh oh"?

2.Why was the baby ant confused?

3.Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

4.Why didn't the clam share has pearls?

5.What do you call a hippo with chicken pocks?

6.What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth?

7.Why did Captain Hook cross the road?

 

ANSWERS

 

1.Santa walking backwards!

2.Because all his uncles are ants!

3.Because they have really big fingers!

4.Because he was shellfish!

5.Hippo-spot-amus!

6.A gummy bear!

7.To get to the second-hand shop!

 

 

Sans snippet

San's snippet

 

More on me...I filled in one of those pass-around FW things...

 

1. Favourite TV show?                                                      My name is Earl

2. Favourite cuisine?                                                        Is Woolies foods a kind of cuisine?

3. What is your favourite CD at the moment?                   Bjork - Greatest Hits

4. Favourite sandwhich?                                                  A toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, but you  HAVE to  wash it down with a strawberry milkshake

5.Favourite saying?                                                          "She who travels lightest travels furthest

6. Are you a morning or evening person?                        Night, I only become pleasant after five

7. What is your shoe size?                                                3 - 5, depends where I am shopping

8. Any new and exciting news you would like to share?  My friend from Holland is here, isn't that weird!??

9. What did you want to be when you were little?            A game ranger or a journalist

10. Favourite day of the year?                                         

That first day of summer, when you FEEL it in the air...LOVE it, it is my happiest day of the year

11.Favourite smell?                                                       Dry highveld grass just after it has rained.

another great product

(I should became a professional taster or brand ambassador)

Cadbury brought out a new slab of chocolate...called "local is lekker"
Flavours include: milk tart, peppermint crisp tart, cheesecake, and..I am missing one, don't know what it is...

Mmmm...

 

 

 

michelle

She are here...

 

The eagle has landed. And she is nesting at my humble abode..

 

Fina-lily...

 

I went to fetch her at the airport yesterday. Prayed all the way in the Joburg traffic, at least I had my new Bjork CD pumping tunes (quite depressing and twisted tunes, if you ask me, but then again I am so twisted myself, I can take it)

 

Anyhoo.

 

We went for dinner. And acted like an old married couple. (Jan Willem you have some competition...ha ha)

 

It started off with Michelle being kind enough to share my chips with me, share the calories, share the love. I then spot her calamri, and seeing as though I have never tried it, decide to take a little bite. Turns out calamari is quite lekker, so Mich dishes over the whole piece to me.

Mich used up her whole lemon on her calamari, and spots my lemon. So she asks if she can have it, and I transfer it to her plate. Then she asks for a piece of my cordon bleau, which I willingly place onto her plate.

 

Then we both realize that we are acting like an old married couple, dishing out food for one another.

 

We sorted out her rental car. Of course when you rent a car you are parked in a different parking bay to the paid parking customers.So I try to figure out how I am going to get to her parking bay, because I am her guide to get home.

 

I run to my car, parking ticket in one hand and money in the other. SO ORGANISED..

But, wait, where is the car..

 

I can't remember where I parked...

 

AT ALL...

 

Nothing rings a bell...so I look on the parking ticket and it says I entered on entrance31, run to the parking attendant..where the heck is this entrance?

 

"Go down two levels..."

 

So I go down two levels, run out, can't see the car anywhere...Ok, maybe I had to go down to level two,not down two levels as I was told.

 

By luck I find the car, run to pay the parking ticket. I am R5 short. I chuck my bag on the floor and frantically search for those three R5 coins I know I have in there. But as Murphy would have it, I can't find them. The dude next to me sees I look a little lost and pays the money I am short. (And who says Joburgers are not nice?)

Shot dude, karma will sort you out later, I am sure.

 

After I picked her up, we set off in a convoy to get home. Stefan in front, followed by me and Mich.

 

Well, I lost the plot somewhere along the line that day and with that, Stefan too. I ended up taking the wrong turn off and ended up in Johannesburg Central somewhere at a dodgey McDonalds (yeah, you get those) with a lady who was asking money from the wrong person (me) at the wrong time. I am sure karma will sort me out for not being nicer to her, I bet.

 

And then the Bjork tunes were getting to me, it felt like I was in a bad horror movie again (like that Wrong Turn incident I had encountered last year)

 

So I phone Stefan, and he was such a heroe, he stops his car somewhere on the highway to get his laptop to try VeZA me to the right location.

 

What a long day, I was so happy to hit that pillow. It is smooth sailing from here on out though, we are all going for a dinner at Moyo tonight.

 

 

 

 

please pray

Maggie Brown, please pray for me...

 

I think today is going to be a life changing day, either way!

 

:-)

 

:-(

 

 

sick

 

I have the flu....

 

 

ma'am

We all had a teacher that did not like us, right?

 

Mine was the English teacher I had in Grade 9...or 10...

 

She was old, wore glasses that made her squint and had mousy grey hair, and her voice went shrill when she thought we were up to "intolerable behaviour."

 

Let me be honest, I did not like her.

 

And, she did not like me, which made me dislike her, and vice versa.

 

She always looked for a reason to chase me out of class. To uproot me from my chair. And, to her greatest regret, could never quite find a reason to do so. I did my homework, knew enough answers to seem interested, and kept quiet for longer than most when asked to.

 

And one day she was given the chance to "uproot" me. I opened my mouth to ask if I could borrow somebody's dictionary, and she was there like a vulture. Ready as anything to finally chase me out. Problem was, that I technically did not say anything...yet..so her case was pretty feeble.

 

However, that same day, I had prepared a flower arrangement for Home Economics. I was busy looking at the flower arrangement, when she hollered that I was not paying attention and that me and my flower arrangement

(OOPS: "My flower arrangement and I")

had to go stand outside in the hall and SHE HOPES THAT THE PRINCIPAL WAKLS PAST. As luck would have it, the Principal did walk past. But he had a fat chat with me, instead of reprimanding me.

He asked why I was outside, and I said:

"I was sent oustide to view my flower arrangement, Ma'am was kind enough to consider that the light is much better outside the classroom."

 

And that was that.

 

 

 

 

Labora in Fide

They had a talk on the radio this morning about high school slogan's.

 

I could not for the life of me remember what mine was, quite shocking seeing as though I wore the school badge every day of my school life. On my shirt and blazer...mmm, not to mention the fact that it stared me in the face every day, due to the fact that everybody else wore it...

 

Just goes to show how interested I was in my surroundings in high school. (I think most people blocked out their high school careers, or is that just the normal people out there that do that?)

 

Anyhoo, luckily my old high school have a website...and I found the slogan, Labora In Fide, and it means "education for life"

 

Here's a weird fact I found on the website under the "history" slot

 The first school was opened in Port Shepstone in 1883 with 17 scholars. Only one of these pupils could read after 18 months’ schooling.

Mmm, I only realize now that I was actually privelaged?

The level of education HAS improved! Imagine after a year and a half of teaching HIGH SCHOOL pupils, the only thing they learnt was to read?And only ONE out of 17 acquired this skill? 

On the other hand, I had no problem remembering my Afrikaans Primary School slogan:

VOLHARDING...

(perserverance)

 

not much on the go

Not much is happening at the moment, I am having a subdued kind of week, in all areas. (work, social, etc.) Which is a good thing, gives me time to reflect on things.

 

But not for long, Mich is coming!

 

YAY!

 

Can not wait,

buckle up lady, we are going to have an awesome weekend!

I need to make up an inventory and show you a little slice of Sandton this weekend...WOO HOO...ok, maybe not just a slice..half a pie!

 

Lovely dahling...gotta LOVE it...

 

THEN AGAIN

I guess some people just bring out the best and most creative side of you, while others...don't

 

 

Get Over It

If you don't like me...

 

Get some building supplies...

 

Start building a bridge...

 

AND GET OVER IT!

 

Mwah ha ha ha...

 

Growing up

I found happiness and contempt within myself the day I stopped focusing on what I still needed to gain, and started focusing on what I have already found and already achieved.

 

Secret to my happiness.

 

I have changed a great deal the past year or so.

 

I found that it is a lot more rewarding to feed positive thoughts to people's perception of others, than enhancing their negative perceptions.

 

And I did not really even focus on this, it just started happening these last few months.

 

Somebody was upset with their boyfriend and when they finished talking to me, they wanted to phone him and could not wait to see him.

Somebody else was edgy with their son, and when they finished having a chat with me, they felt extra motherly and could not wait to see them when they got home.

 

Instead of fighting fire with fire, these days, I manage to neutralize conflict situations. I put emotions aside and focus on solutions.

 

Seems if you find happiness within yourself, you have enough happiness to give out to others.

 

Feels great!

 

 

 

 

 

Internal debates rage on

ADVENTUROUS:

Willing to undertake or seeking out new and daring enterprises; "adventurous pioneers"

 

How do you measure adventure?

 

What makes a person adventurous?

Would you label somebody adventurous because they do things YOU have not tried, or will not try?

 

I have, for example, patted a snake, some people would NEVER try it themselves and by default I am more adventurous than they are.

 

Then again, somebody else has gone hot air ballooning, something I would never try, and again, by default, they are more adventurous than I am.

 

The concept should be examined in context to what the individual has done previously. If somebody is pushing themselves and go beyond their personal boundary and or comfort zones they have been adventurous.

 

And I have always been known to be somebody to push my boundaries!

anybody feel like lunch?

This is long one guys, so get a cuppa...

 

My point of view:

 

Let's go back to the beginning...

 

Grade 2..

 

The gala at Suid Natal...

 

My first swimming race...ever

 

EVER

 

I dive into the pool...

 

I had only done a few diving lessons, so my entry was not that graceful...

 

And one of the other kids pushed me out the way...one of those little over achievers that was born into water and grew gills at the age of two...

 

Now let's go to the spotty standard five lifesaver's point of view:

 

The Suid Natal Gala...

 

Probably his first "job" as lifesaver...

 

Trying to impress his equally spotty chick...

 

He sees a little grade 2 blonde girl going under the water...

 

Here is his chance!

 

Jumps in and saves her...

 

Back to my point of view:

 

How embarrasing! I had only recently started swimming lessons, only to be "saved" by some dumb ass when I was not really drowning at all.

 

Needless to say, I spent the rest of my primary school career on the side line at Gala's.

And during High School developed a "super sensitivity to the chlorine in the water"...

Life after school, was great, we only splashed around in shallow pools, to cool off, nobody really wondering why you aren't sporting your best breast strokes, actually they just all try and check out your breasts, everybody ascribes not swimming to being lazy (or for want of a better word, RELAXING AROUND THE POOL)..and if they ever questioned my swimming skills, I would explain the dangers of drinking and trying to swim at the same time.

 

Let me go a little deeper, (excuse the pun) I can't swim well...and I have kept it secret...Ok, maybe not secret, I have just avoided it.

Like you would avoid that lunchbox that has been sitting in your drawer for a while. You know you have to look at the contents, you are a little curious, but the fear of what has festered inside that lunchbox since you left it, is greater than the curiousity. And then I think of that old saying: "Curiousity killed the cat" and also, "I am too young to die"

 

Ok, getting dramatic on myself again.

 

Back to the point.

 

On top of the fact that I can't swim well, I have developed a fear of the "deep side of the pool" The fear is coupled with a fear of "not touching the bottom" I have added these labels to my fear, to help rationalise it.

 

And then on Saturday, I put myself in a wet suit and fins..strapped on a little waistcoat device, a mask, and made my lifeline the oxygen cylinder on my back.

 

Now to get into the water...

 

THE WATER

Water (from the Old English word wæter) is a colorless, tasteless, and odorless substance that is essential to all known forms of life and is known also as the most universal solvent

 

I feel heavier than usual,all the gear is tight on me.

 

It was actually a relief to get into the water and experience boyancy.

 

I was PETRIFIED....the childhood issue came back to HAUNT me...and I am thinking:

 

"Is it not too cold to dive?"

 

"Is the visibility not bad?"

 

"Does anybody want a beer? The shallow side looks quite attractive.."

 

Now, I have to learn to put my face in the water while breathing through the regulator.

 

The air is cold, tastes like plastic and I can't imagine it sustaining my lungs, heart and normal bodily functions.

 

But it does.

 

But how?

 

How does it work?

 

I can't breathe under water..

 

But I am?

 

Then I start freaking out and breathe too quickly and emerge from under the water...

 

It was a little embarrasing I have to admit. I am 22 and acting like a three year old does the first time her parents take her to the wading pool.

 

Calm down!

 

Ok, we are going to try swim away from the edge...ok?

 

Yes, ok...

 

 I get halfway before completely freaking again...

 

Nope, I can't do it..

 

(I had an extremely patient diving instructor)

 

I only realise much later that my waistcoat allows me to float. I also realise that I don't have to kick so hard with my fins or that I don't have to kick continually to stay where I am.

 

Eventually I am floating a couple of meter's above the surface (quite a couple) with my face in the water looking around. I am in the "deep side of the dam" and I am "not touching the bottom"

 

HECTIC.

 

But I did it.

 

Sometimes you have to look back at where the root of the problem is and how deep that root goes, to see how much you have achieved in overcoming the issue. And this will also give you the coordinates to where you want to be.

 

In conclusion, I would say I have opened that lunchbox.

 

Now it is time to throw out the contents and put some new things in here.