prelude to the end of my world

I kept praying for a sign from God. I needed closure, I needed clarity, I needed something to work on. Anything small would have done, I would have grasped at straws and tried to build on it. And as I sit here and write this, I start to think how futile my efforts were. None of it matters now and still I miss him..how stupid.

I thought I had received the sign this weekend, the week just felt so ominous to me.
One of my classmates from high school died in a car crash last week. My friend had everyone write something about him to dedicate to his parents. There were a series of major accidents on the road. Our factory manager even rode into the back of a truck, huge accident. I don't know if these things stood out to me so much, because I had just gotten my license and only recently started driving on my own. Or maybe it was all relating to the signs.

On Saturday night when I left him, I was worried. Something was wrong with him. I could sense it before even seeing him, that was why I visited him in the first place. (even though he needed his space)

I never say to him to drive safely, but I did that night.

I thought it weird that he did not follow me when I drove off, but left it to him wanting space. I got home and battled with the iginition and thought to phone him for advice, but I knew not to, as he wanted his space.

I got into my house and sat on the couch and something said to me: He was in a car crash. Phone him, something is wrong. But I did not phone, cos I have been doing it too much lately and I needed to back off and give him his space. I was just being silly anyway.

At around 21:00, I had the urge to drive my flatmate around the block with the new car. I did not invite him until about 21:45 though.

At 21:20, one of the girls came into our house to tell us about her news. The guy that lives above us, Mark, the tow truck driver, well his wife thinks she has the hots for him.

I went to bed early, I was awoke at 03:00 in the morning. I was awoken from a dream where his car was getting washed. His window wiper was broken off and he handed it back to the guy who was washing his car. I was awoken by him, he told me that he had been in a car accident and the car was damaged beyond a driveable state.

The next day, he told me of the series of events. At about 21:00, he had crashed on the road I had wanted to take my flatmate for a test drive.

At about 21:20, a tow truck driver came to fetch him. The same tow truck driver that lived above me, Mark. That was the same time that the girl told us about him. Before that time, I did not even know who lived above me.

He did not usually drive on that road, but something told him that it would be the safest road.