My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
George Burns
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight .
Phyllis Diller
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,
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A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said," Dad!
I've found a woman just like mother" His father replied, "So what do you want? Sympathy?"
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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
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