how about this?

I sent this mail to my friend, who is having issues with somebody who is SUPER petty...

 

*****SPECIAL OFFER*****

 

Call 0800 GET A LIFE...

 

Phone today before it is too late!

 

What the offer entails:

 

Staying out of other people's lives, because guess what?!

 

You have your own!

 

Would this not be great?

 

Your very own life!

 

Having your own life, may be scary, coz you may have to live with yourself, and you may really SUCK,

but not to worry, we will offer self help books and, YUP: YOU GUESSED IT HONEY: another number:

 

0800 SEE A SHRINK

 

call now,

don't delay,

Your very own life, could be just a phone call away...