San needs a filter

I have noticed that I asbsolutely have no filter, in other words, I have no tact.

 

Take Saturday, as a an example. We were at the sweetshop, owned by an indian bloke, and a lady was purchasing what looked like a grey shrivelled dusty packet with two odd-shaped lumps...

 

I was curious, as ever, and asked her what they are. She replies:

 

"They are dried lemons.."

 

And here's me: "OH, JIG! JUST IMAGINE EATING THOSE! I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THEM AND SUCKED ON THEM LIKE SWEETS"

 

And apparently that is exactly what they are..sweets....

 

But let me tell you, those 'dried lemons' look more like MUMMIFIED lemons, they certainly don't look edible!

 

And then, that very same day ( just to prove to you, that I don't learn from my mistakes) I insult the boyfriend's grandchild.

 

JUST IMAGINE!

 

We are busy viewing pictures of the "oupa and ouma" day they went to earlier...and I was appointed as the official picture clicker. All of a sudden pops up this little girl with pigtails, and LOTS of ribbons in her hair. But, I mean a lot, and they are extremely noticable

 

And here's me:

 

"GEE WHIZZ! LOOK AT ALL THOSE RIBBONS! THAT IS A LOT! GEE WHIZZ!"

 

And I even circled the area with my mouse pointer...

 

And then the grandparents pipe up : "That's our grand daughter...she has very curly hair"

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH - kill me now!