false alarm

While minding my own business, as one usually does, when underwear shopping...the shop assistant catches me groping around at floor level, trying to locate the correct size.

"What size?" She asks

"Um, I have already been trying on some...now I'm looking for sixe XYZ.." I reply, a bit shocked and forced into an automated answer...

"No problem, my darling, we find it" she says, whipping into ACTION MODE, like a trained shop NINJA...she wraps the tape measure around all the bits which make up my bust area. Then she whips me into the change room, shoving two sets into my hand: "You call me when you done, ok?"

"Um, ok" Once again, the shock forces out an automated answer.

A while later, she zips around the corner, "You done darling?"

"Um, ja" I reply..and before I can say anything else, she sails into the change room: "No, no ...the straps, they are wrong" She adjusts them with lightening speed..providing me with the perfect fit, slapping me on the back, and going about her merry way...

When I exit the fitting roooms, I hear her informing the colleagues: "No, don't worry, it was only a strap problem. Hee hee, yes the straps..hee hee"

But the way she said it, it was as if she had been called to battle, only to find that the enemy is not in attack mode...and that it was all a false alarm...