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Never explain yourself to anyone
because the person who likes you, does not need it
and the person who dislikes you, won't believe it
Question on application form:
"Which geographical area do you prefer to work in?"
Answer:
"Telecoms"
You drive into your complex and see a double bed, a fan, a basket full of clothes, curtains and a stand, outside on the lawn.
Then you realise it is your double bed, fan, basket full of clothes, curtains and stand.
We actually saw these items out on the lawn, in front of our complex this week.
By the second or third night, the bed was missing, and when we got home yesterday, everything was gone.
Hmmm...
Makes you wonder about that saying: " Hell hast no fury, like a woman scorned"
Personal
Hygiene
It should be kept personal...private..
LOL..this reminds me of an episode of My Name is Earl. The blonde brother was caught cutting Earl's toenails in the middle of the night. Earl woke up and asked his brother what the heck he was up to.
Blonde brother: " I cut them in the middle of the night Earl, because they poke me"
Earl: "Oh, thank goodness, I though they had just stopped growing or something"
Anyway, back to my point, two words:
Personal
Hygiene.
Can I make a bouquet garni for myself?
It is not difficult. A bouquet garni is a mixture of herbs commonly used in dishes that need to cook for a long time. Traditionally, it contains a bay leaf and a mixture of origanum, parsley and thyme. If you are using fresh herbs, tie a string around the stalks and supsend them in the pot by tying the string around one of the handles of the pot. If you are using dried herbs, wrap them in a small muslin bag that can be suspended from the handle of the pot. Remember to remove the bouquet garni before serving.
Have you ever wondered, that while you are going out on a limb for someone, that they don't even know that you are doing it?
Some may motivate you to take the risk, to climb the height, but secretely they know you are on your own, and that it is not really important to them if you do it, or not.
You assume they will be waiting to catch you when you fall. But they don't even go as far as thinking that you COULD fall.
They even forget that you are on that limb in the first place.
And there you are, months later, swinging your legs, as you sit high and dry.
You shout: "Hello! Anybody There?"
And of course, the only answer is your own echo.
You know the difference between Mauve, maroon and magenta
The most interesting thing I figured out this week, is that if you add lemon juice to brocolli and carrots, before steaming it, it ends up tasting a bit like dried fruit.
You know that tangy flavour dried fruit has? Yup, that is what happens.
I won't ever try that again
San-Mari Swart
You all know how much I love funny signage, and here is the latest I saw in the Ladies at Virgin Active:
"Dear Ladies, as a common courtesey to fellow gym-goers, please refrain from dying your hair or washing clothes in the washing basins,
Thank you,
The Virgin Active Team"
Ugh, and let me just say that some of these "ladies" can't be classified as such, they do their make up in the NUDE!
Now before your imaginations run wild, especially the boys, who are imagining bouncy supermodels,
Let me explain to you: these naked women are huge blips who can lose their eye liner in their fat rolls or compress powder in between those rolls (Why do you need to do make up in the nude anyway?)
And the other day, I saw someone (yes, they were naked too) sitting on a bench, with nail clippers, pulling off dead skin from her heels...
I think Virgin Active should spend their signage budget on changing the sign board "Ladies" to something more appropriate...I will leave this one up to your imaginations!
