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San - a figment of your imagination

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

my new favourite song

Poker Face Lyrics

Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays
Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)
Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun, fun
[Poker Face Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning
Just like a chick in the casino
Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand cause I'm marvelous

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
Posted by san at 10:40 PM 1 comment:

San on resigning

Resigning with a Company feels like breaking up with someone...
Posted by san at 5:41 AM No comments:

I need a strong cocktail

 
 
 
 
Posted by san at 4:17 AM No comments:

the suspense is killing me! I am going to the bathroom to kill some time

 
 

 
Posted by san at 3:53 AM No comments:

Shoot me now

 
 
 
Posted by san at 3:52 AM No comments:

I can see clearly now!

 
 

 
Posted by san at 3:17 AM No comments:

Friday, December 12, 2008

Right to passage

So, I went to my house during lunchtime.

And the family of the slain guard was there with his body. It is custom in African families to come collect the soul of the person who passed, at the place he died.

I had to walk through the party, what an awkward moment

 

 

 
Posted by san at 3:14 AM No comments:

how to make your own luck

How To Make Your Own Luck

By: Daniel H. Pink
Some folks do have all the luck -- and psychologist Richard Wiseman can teach you how to be one of the lucky few.
 

"It's better to be lucky than smart." "You make your own luck in life." "Some folks are just born lucky." In an environment marked by rising tensions and diminished expectations, most of us could use a little luck -- at our companies, in our careers, with our investments. Richard Wiseman thinks that he can help you find some.

Wiseman, 37, is head of a psychology research department at the University of Hertfordshire in England. For the past eight years, he and his colleagues at the university's Perrott-Warrick Research Unit have studied what makes some people lucky and others not. After conducting thousands of interviews and hundreds of experiments, Wiseman now claims that he's cracked the code. Luck isn't due to kismet, karma, or coincidence, he says. Instead, lucky folks -- without even knowing it -- think and behave in ways that create good fortune in their lives. In his new book, The Luck Factor: Changing Your Luck, Changing Your Life: The Four Essential Principles (Miramax, 2003), Wiseman reveals four approaches to life that turn certain people into luck magnets. (And, as luck would have it, he tells the rest of us how to improve our own odds.)

Wiseman's four principles turn out to be slightly more polished renditions of some of the self-help canon's greatest hits. One thing Wiseman discovered, for example, was that when things go awry, the lucky "turn bad luck into good" by seeing how they can squeeze some benefit from the misfortune. (Lemonade, anyone?) The lucky also "expect good fortune," which no doubt has Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking, grinning in his grave.

But if these insights aren't exactly groundbreaking, neither are they wrongheaded. For instance, Wiseman found that lucky people are particularly open to possibility. Why do some people always seem to find fortune? It's not dumb luck. Unlike everyone else, they see it. "Most people are just not open to what's around them," Wiseman says. "That's the key to it."

Wiseman began his career as a teenage magician who joined London's prestigious Magic Circle society and journeyed to Hollywood to perform for thousands. "Magic is very good training for seeing the world from somebody else's perspective," he says. Wiseman's latest research makes several forays into areas where most scholars rarely tread: He has investigated the psychological underpinnings of magic, the dynamics of deception, and the psychology of the paranormal. In 2001, he achieved international notoriety conducting a yearlong search for the world's funniest joke, testing how some 350,000 participants reacted to 40,000 jokes.

Fast Company was lucky enough to catch up with the hip and affable professor at a café overlooking London's Hyde Park.

How did a serious academic like you become interested in a squishy subject like luck?

Round about 10 years ago, I was talking to people about why they'd ended up where they'd ended up in their lives -- the people they were with, the careers they were in, and so on. And the words that kept coming up were things like "luck" and "chance." People said, "I met my partner by chance." Or "I'm in this particular career because I just happened to go to this party." I knew from the psychology literature that psychologists avoided luck. They said you couldn't do science with it. So I decided to test that. I did some research that asked people, "Do you consider yourself unlucky, or lucky?"

Over time, we built up a database of about 400 people from all over the UK, all walks of life, who considered themselves especially lucky or unlucky. The people in both groups were saying, "I've no idea why this is the case; I'm just lucky" -- or unlucky. But I didn't believe that for a minute. I thought there was something else going on. So in the Luck Project, we've had them take part in experiments, interviewed them, had them keep diaries -- all sorts of things -- trying to piece together why you'd have one group of people for whom everything would work out well and another group for whom things would be completely disastrous.

Isn't there a distinction between chance and luck?

There's a big distinction. Chance events are like winning the lottery. They're events over which we have no control, other than buying a ticket. They don't consistently happen to the same person. They may be formative events in people's lives, but they're not frequent. When people say that they consistently experience good fortune, I think that, by definition, it has to be because of something they are doing.

In other words, they make their own luck.

That's right. What I'm arguing is that we have far more control over events than we thought previously. You might say, "Fifty percent of my life is due to chance events." No, it's not. Maybe 10% is. That other 40% that you think you're having no influence over at all is actually defined by the way you think.

What are some of the ways that lucky people think differently from unlucky people?

One way is to be open to new experiences. Unlucky people are stuck in routines. When they see something new, they want no part of it. Lucky people always want something new. They're prepared to take risks and relaxed enough to see the opportunities in the first place.

How did you uncover that in your lab?

We did an experiment. We asked subjects to flip through a news-paper that had photographs in it. All they had to do was count the number of photographs. That's it. Luck wasn't on their minds, just some silly task. They'd go through, and after about three pages, there'd be a massive half-page advert saying, STOP COUNTING. THERE ARE 43 PHOTOGRAPHS IN THIS NEWSPAPER. It was next to a photo, so we knew they were looking at that area. A few pages later, there was another massive advert -- I mean, we're talking big -- that said, STOP COUNTING. TELL THE EXPERIMENTER YOU'VE SEEN THIS AND WIN 150 POUNDS [about $235].

For the most part, the unlucky would just flip past these things. Lucky people would flip through and laugh and say, "There are 43 photos. That's what it says. Do you want me to bother counting?" We'd say, "Yeah, carry on." They'd flip some more and say, "Do I get my 150 pounds?" Most of the unlucky people didn't notice.

But the business culture typically worships drive -- setting a goal, single-mindedly pursuing it, and plowing past obstacles. Are you arguing that, to be more lucky, we need to be less focused?

This is one of the most counterintuitive ideas. We are traditionally taught to be really focused, to be really driven, to try really hard at tasks. But in the real world, you've got opportunities all around you. And if you're driven in one direction, you're not going to spot the others. It's about getting people to have various game plans running in their heads. Unlucky people, if they go to a party wanting to meet the love of their life, end up not meeting people who might become close friends or people who might help them in their careers. Being relaxed and open allows lucky people to see what's around them and to maximize what's around them.

Much of business is also about rational analysis: pulling up the spreadsheet, running the numbers, looking at the serious facts. Yet you found that lucky people rely heavily on their gut instincts.

Yes. You don't want to broadly say that whenever you get an intuitive feeling, it's right and you should go with it. But you could be missing out on a massive font of knowledge that you've built up over the years. We are amazingly good at detecting patterns. That's what our brains are set up to do.

What are some other ways you found that lucky people's minds operate differently?

They practice "counterfactual thinking." The degree to which you think that something is fortunate or not is the degree to which you generate alternatives that are better or worse.

Unlucky people say, "I can't believe I've been in another car accident." Lucky people go, "Wonderful. Yes, I had a car accident, but I wasn't killed. And I met the guy in the other car, and we got on really well, and there might be a relationship there." What's interesting is that both ways of thinking are unconscious and automatic. It would never occur to the unlucky people to see it a different way.

Isn't there something delusional about that approach -- sort of a modern version of Dr. Pangloss's "All for the best in the best of all possible worlds"? Suppose I said, "I just wrote this article, and the article stinks, and nobody read it. But hey, at least I have two arms."

What's so delusional about that? If it keeps you going in the face of adversity and softens the impact of the fact that no one read your article, and therefore you think, "Well, I can write another article, and I'm going to learn from the mistakes of the past one, and I'm going to keep on going," I think that's fine. It would be delusional if you took it to the extreme -- especially if you weren't learning from your mistakes.

But can we acknowledge that sometimes bad stuff -- car accidents, natural disasters -- just happens? Sometimes it's purely bad, and there's nothing good about it.

I've never heard that from a lucky person.

So if you buy that way of thinking, then there is no bad luck.

That's right. That's what was weird about conducting some of the interviews. Subjects would say, "I'm the luckiest person alive" -- and they'd come up with dreadful stories. They'd have the same life events as the unlucky person, but they'd look at them entirely differently

 

Isn't that just a fancy version of the power of positive thinking?

There's more science to it -- as opposed to the classic "Just think positive, and you'll be successful." I think if you understand a little about where it's coming from, it's a bit easier to adapt into your life.

We had a subject named Carolyn. When she would come to the unit to be interviewed, it would be just this whole string of bad-luck stories: "I can't find anyone. I'm unlucky in love. When I did find someone, the guy fell off his motorbike. The next blind date broke his nose. We were supposed to get married, and the church burned down." But to every single interview, she'd bring along her two kids. They were 6 and 7 years old -- very healthy, very happy kids who'd sit there and play. And it was interesting, because most people would love to have two kids like that, but that wasn't part of her world, because she was unlucky in her mind.

How do you get people to begin thinking like lucky people?

We've created a Luck School that teaches people certain techniques. One thing that we do is have people keep a luck diary. At the end of each day, they spend a couple of moments writing down the positive and lucky things that happened. We ask them not to write down the unlucky stuff. Once that starts to build up, what they're doing is adding on, each day. So they look back, and it's five days' worth of positive events, and now it's day six. After doing that for a month, it's difficult not to be thinking about the good things that are happening.

What are the applications of your research to business?

We've just done our first Luck School with an entire company. We took all 35 employees through it. The CEO was very open to change. The ideas resonated with him because that's how he has lived his life. So when he heard them, he said, "I want everybody in my organization to think like this." If we did nothing but make his employees feel better about themselves, he'll be a happy man. If it has an impact on profits and productivity, he'll be a very happy man.

Do you think that lucky organizations really exist?

Yes. Whether it translates to just percentages of lucky people, or whether it translates to a particular mixture, where some score high on one principle and others score high on another, I don't know. In the sense of organizational culture and identity, I think that some organizations will be seen as lucky and successful and others will be seen as unlucky, in the same way that individuals are.

You spent a year trying to find the world's funniest joke. Could you tell us the joke that won?

Two New Jersey hunters go hunting. After a while, one of the hunters clutches his throat and falls to the ground, his eyes roll back, and he's lying there motionless. The other one picks up a cell phone, dials 911, and says, "I think my friend is dead! I don't know what to do!" And the operator says, "Just relax. Calm down. The first thing to do is to make certain your friend is dead." There's a pause -- then a gunshot. And the hunter gets back on the phone and says, "Okay. Now what?"

That's some bad luck for the friend.

Yes, unfortunately. But bad luck is funny.

Bad luck is funny?

Bad luck is funny -- provided it's not happening to you.

Sidebar: Wanna Get Lucky?

According to Richard Wiseman, these four principles can create good fortune in your life and career.

1. Maximize Chance Opportunities

Lucky people are skilled at creating, noticing, and acting upon chance opportunities. They do this in various ways, which include building and maintaining a strong network, adopting a relaxed attitude to life, and being open to new experiences.

2. Listen to Your Lucky Hunches

Lucky people make effective decisions by listening to their intuition and gut feelings. They also take steps to actively boost their intuitive abilities -- for example, by meditating and clearing their mind of other thoughts.

3. Expect Good Fortune

Lucky people are certain that the future will be bright. Over time, that expectation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it helps lucky people persist in the face of failure and positively shapes their interactions with other people.

4. Turn Bad Luck Into Good

Lucky people employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and even thrive upon, the ill fortune that comes their way. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, they don't dwell on the ill fortune, and they take control of the situation.

Daniel H. Pink (dp@danpink.com), author of Free Agent Nation: The Future of Working for Yourself (Warner Business Books, 2002), is writing a book about the rise of right-brained thinking in modern life. He considers himself one lucky guy. For more information on the Luck Project, visit the Web (www.luckfactor.co.uk).

 

 
Posted by san at 2:03 AM No comments:

Little bird

How sweet is this?
 
Dalene's mom feeds wild birds.
 
The other day a little bird flew into the kitchen, so she gave it some cheese.
The next day, the bird returned, with two berries and waited for its cheese.
He now comes in on a daily basis, offering his two little berries for a bit of cheese.
 
If Dalene's mom is not in the kitchen, he comes to look for her (carrying the two berries in his beak)
 
 
Posted by san at 1:53 AM No comments:

Reasons to get smash and grab installed

 

Reduce heat
Today's window tint is extremely efficient at controlling the effects of solar energy. Tinting can provide up to 78% heat reduction as compared to untreated glass.

 

Increase your security

Tinted window also severely impairs burglars and "smash and grab" looters from gaining access through store windows. Applied to the glass exterior, tint can even protect against vandalism and accidental scratching

 

Increase your safety
Window tinting film bonds with the glass creating a shatter resistant barrier, protecting the people inside, from flying glass, shards or fragments. This barrier can be of critical importance in protecting executives and personnel in industrial or government facilities where the risk of explosions can be higher. This barrier is equally important in the home where severe weather and household accidents can severely injure children and other family members.

 

Deter thieves
A tinted window in your vehicle helps to discourage thieves. Once a thief tries to break the window the film helps to keep the glass together and hence makes it more difficult to break into your vehicle or home

 

Protect your investments
Window tinting will add value to your vehicle, home and business.

 

Other reasons to get anti-smash and grab installed:

 

  • It is a strong membrane to contain glass should it break.
  • Skin Cancer
  • Increase the strength of glass
  • Improves vision and safety
  • More resistant to forced entry
  • Reduces heat
  • Shades the inside of the car
  • Blocks UV Radiation
  • Reduces fading and interior cracking
  • Increases Skin Protection
  • Increases air-conditioning efficiency
  • Improves occupant comfort
  • Reduces glare
  • Lessens eye fatigue
  • Add privacy
  • Glare: These films filter out up to 75% of glare from the sun
  • In an explosion 90% of injuries can be caused by flying glass
Posted by san at 12:54 AM No comments:

Thursday, December 11, 2008

To the creator of Play Station games

Dear Mister PS game creator,

I am busy playing Godhand (yes even though I am a girrl) and have to tell you that the person who created this, is some sex-craved male chauvinist....

...for the following reasons:

To kill females you have to pull them over your lap and spank them
To recharge your health, you have to look at suggestive magazines...
When you save one of the civilians, she says "ooh, they spanked me so hard, but after a while, I liked it"

But the rest of the game is AWESOME! I am three quarters of the way, I am almost done with my first PS game, and I don't want anybody else to finish my session for me...Grrrr


 

 

 
Posted by san at 11:43 PM No comments:

I had a horrid dream about a dead body that had no bones in it...

I always dream about death at a certain time of the month

Posted by san at 11:27 PM No comments:

Weeweechu

 

WEEWEECHU



It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!



Posted by san at 11:22 PM No comments:

 

I feel lower than a worm at the moment
Posted by san at 4:19 AM No comments:

another song I like

Oooh
Put your loving hand out, baby
I'm beggin'

Beggin', beggin' you
Put your loving hand out baby
Beggin', beggin' you
Put your loving hand out darling


Ridin high, when I was king
Played it hard and fast, cause I had everything
Walked away, won me then
But easy come and easy go
And it would end


So why anytime I bleed, you let me go
Anytime I feed you get me know
Anytime I see you let me know
but,I plan and see just let me go

I'm on my knees when I'm (begging)
Cause I don't want to lose (you)
I got my arms on spread
And I hope that my heart gets fed, matter of fact girl I'm beggin...

Beggin', beggin' you
Put your loving hand out baby
Beggin', beggin' you
Put your loving hand out darling



I need you, (yeeah) to understand
Tried so hard
To be your man
The kind of man you want in the end
Only then can I begin to live again


An empty shell I used to be
Shadow of my life was hangin over me
A broken man that I don't know
Won't even stand the devil's dance to win my soul


Why we chewing? Why we chasing?
Why the bottom? Why the basement?
Why we got good sh** don't embrace it?
Why the feel for the need to replace me?
You're on the wrong way track from the good
I want to paint in a picture telling where we could be at
Like a heart in the best way should
You can give it the away, you had it and you took the pay
But I keep walking on, keep opening doors
Keep hoping for that the door is yours
Keep also home, cause I don't want to live in a broken home, girl I am begging


Beggin', beggin' you
Put your loving hand out baby
Beggin', beggin' you
Put your loving hand out darling



I'm fighting hard to hold my own
Just can't make it all alone
I'm holdin on, can't fall back
I'm just a calm 'bout to fade to black

And I can't come home
You call and I can't come home
You call you can't come home
You call and I can't come home
You call

Begging, begging you
Put your loving hand out baby
Begging, begging you
Put your loving hand out darling


Begging, begging you
Put your loving hand out baby
Begging, begging you
Put your loving hand out darling


 

 
Posted by san at 4:19 AM No comments:
 
it is true what they say: Fly high and you will fall hard
 
 
Posted by san at 4:15 AM No comments:

 

Yayee - I am going to put smash and grab onto my car windows next week! Don't know why I am so excited about it...
Posted by san at 3:47 AM No comments:

HEADlining

The story about the guard who was murdered in my complex made it to the headline in our area newspaper...
I seriously need to move out of SA
 
 
Posted by san at 3:46 AM No comments:
today I am saying a little thank-you prayer for being able to recognise when it is time for change
Posted by san at 2:44 AM No comments:

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

 

 

shoot me please!
Posted by san at 5:23 AM No comments:

I am getting fat again, I am so IRRITATED
Posted by san at 5:21 AM No comments:

going green

I am going green in 6 days...

Posted by san at 5:14 AM No comments:

I am dying of boredom
Posted by san at 5:13 AM No comments:

FIVE THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK

 

Something helpful…


FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

5. 'They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.'


4. 'This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the Time Management course you sent me to.'
 

3. 'Whew! Guess I left the top off the Tippex thinners. You probably got here just in time.'


2. 'Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?



And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. Raise your head slowly and say, 'Amen.'
 (LOL remember this one)
  
 

Posted by san at 4:15 AM No comments:

So you think you can lie to me?

You know what?

Lies ALWAYS catch up to people, whether it is lying about your feelings, smoking or not being able to attend a friend's invitation..whatever..I always find out...and I WILL make a point of making you look like an idiot, and then from thereon, I cut you out of my life

Easy as pie

Posted by san at 12:13 AM No comments:

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

San's latest obsession

So i actually kick butt in Play Station 2!
 
Nobody can beat me in Tekken! And I am good at God Hand too. I am very surprised, as I could never play anything on PS2
Posted by san at 5:19 AM No comments:

Yup - this was at my complex...

Security guard slain at Douglasdale complex

JOHANNESBURG - A security guard was shot dead on Sunday at a mall in Douglasdale, Honeydew police said.

Inspector Tebogo Kgomo said the guard was shot on duty at the Complex by an unknown gunman.

“He went to inspect a certain area after receiving information about criminal activities which were happening at the back of the complex.

“At this moment we don’t know who shot him or why he was shot,” said Kgomo.

No one else was injured.

Police were investigating a case of murder.

- Sapa

Posted by san at 4:33 AM No comments:

Monday, December 08, 2008

New year's 2003 - Current

 
End of 2007 - Location: Perth WA, watching fireworks on the banks of the Swan river. I celebrated 2008 before every South African!
 
End of 2006 - I think I was at Michelle's, Location; watching fireworks on the beach on the South Coast, celebrating 2007 with sand inbetween my toes and rain on my back
 
End of 2005 - Location: With Michelle again? Location: Sea Park. Watching little boats with candles on them go down the river, celebrating 2006 with lots of hope for the future
 
End of 2004 - Location: Casino in Secunda, Free State (in other words: 5 degrees south of nowhere) Built up to 2005 with a formal dinner, and followed the new year in with a Scott playing on bag pipes (The whole dinner party followed the bagpipe player - in a long line throughout the casino)
 
End of 2003 - Location: Dodgy pub in Valhalla, Pretoria (with Michelle) We saw in the new year without a drop of alcohol, cos our new year's resolution was to quit drinking! ha ha - we were so silly
 
Posted by san at 4:22 AM No comments:

Breakeven - The Script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man thats gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

This is totally relevant to me! that ****** lost me, he pretends to be all religious now "pray to a God I don't believe in"
 
And how true is this : "She finally met a man thats gonna put her 1st, While I'm wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping"
Yup - I have no guilt, Clinton treats me like a princess
 
Not to mention this part: "You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain, you took your suitcase, I took the blame"
Yup! I took my cases and left Australia! I have Clinton's heart (and he has mine) and all ****face has - is the blame and the guilt!



Posted by san at 4:06 AM No comments:

why WHY why

Please explain why all the grocery stores and general stores stock laxatives, but diarrhea medication is only found in chemists?
Posted by san at 3:22 AM No comments:

TO ALL MY ALCOHOL LOVING PALS...

                                    COCKTAILS TO DIE FOR!!!       

 

APPLE CRUMBLE

50ml Morgans spiced
100ml Apple juice
2 pinches of cinnamon
12.5ml Lemon juice
12.5ml Sugar syrup

Instructions
Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into an ice filled Collins glass, Garnish with an apple slice.

 

 

 

ABSOLUTE BERRY BLOOD BATH

25ml Absolut Kurant
12.5ml Chambord
12.5ml Creme de Fraise
25ml Cranberry Juice

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a cocktail glass garnish with fresh redcurrants.

 

 

 

DIRTY BANANA

1 oz creme de bananes
1 oz creme de cacao
1 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Instructions
Blend six ice cubes with ice-cream in a blender until smooth. Add liqueurs and continue blending, again until smooth.

Add more ice-cream if needed (for milk-shake consistency). Pour into a highball glass, and serve.

 

 

 

FALLEN ANGEL

ice
45ml gin
15ml green creme de menthe
30ml lemon juice
dash Angostura Bitters
maraschino cherry

Place ice, gin, creme de menthe, lemon juice and bitters in a shaker and shake well to mix.
Strain into cocktail glass and garnish with cherry

 

 

 

FLORIDA FRUIT SALAD

35ml Absolut Mandrin
15ml Mandrin Napolian
15ml Apple Schnapps
15ml Fresh Lemon Juice
25ml Fresh Pink Grapefruit
Dash of Sugar Syrup

Instructions
Shake ingredients and strain in to a cocktail glass, Garnish with a grape, mandrin segment and strawberry.

 

 

 

HURRICANE

2 fl oz (50 ml) dark rum
2 fl oz (50 ml) light rum
2 fl oz (50 ml) passion fruit juice
½ fl oz (12 ml) fresh lime juice
1 fl oz (25 ml) orange juice
1 tablespoon(s) grenadine
ice cubes as required
1 slice(s) of orange
2 cherries

Instructions
Pour all the ingredients except orange slices and cherries into a shaker with ice cubes. Shake well.
Strain the mixture over ice cubes into hurricane glass(es).
Serve garnished with orange slice(s) and cherries.

 

 

 

KILLER SNIFF

4 cl Sambuca
2 cl Blue Curacao

Instructions
First, pour the Blue curacoa in the glass followed by the Sambucca.

Then light this mixture. Let it burn for a few seconds and then put your hand on top of the glass (keep it on the glass) as soon as flames go out,

bring the glass to your nose and sniff the alcohol. Then drink it. After this: relight the glass and sniff again. cheers!

 

 

ZOMBIE

In a tall glass of ice pour in order:
25ml Lemon Juice
2 teaspoons Grenadine
2 Dashes of Angostura Bitters
25ml Morgan's Spice
200ml Orange Juice
25ml Apricot Brandy
100ml Guava/Mango/other Exotic Juice
50ml Myers's Rum
25ml "float" of Woods 100 Old Navy Rum

 

 

 

PINK CADILLAC CONVERTABLE

30ml Tequila Gold
12.5ml Cointreau
20ml Fresh Lime juice
20ml Cranberry juice
20ml Grand Marnier

Instructions
Shake ingredients (except Grand Marnier) with ice and strain over crushed ice into a tumbler
Garnish with a salt rim and a lime wedge

 

 

 

MELON MARTINI

45 ml Vodka
22 ml Melon Liqueur
1 dash Freshly squeezed Lemon Juice
1 dash Rich Sugar syrup

Shake with ice and strain into a chilled martini glass.

 

 

 

LUCKY SUMMER

25ml Whisky
25ml Grand Marnier
12.5ml Cointreau
37.5ml Fresh orange juice
12.5ml Fresh lemon juice
Dash of grenadine

Instructions
Shake ingredients and strain over ice into a collins glass, Garnish with an orange wedge.

 

 

 

JAMAICAN RUM PUNCH

50ml Myers's Rum
25ml Fresh Lemon Juice
200ml Pineapple Juice
100ml Peach Nectar/Juice
12.5ml Sugar Syrup
2 Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Soda Water

Instructions
Shake with ice and pour entire contents (including ice) into a highball and top with soda water, Garnish with a slice of pineapple and a maraschino cherry.

 

 

 

BLUEBERRY GIN FIZZ

2 Blueberries
15ml Gin
10ml Fresh lemon juice
10ml Gomme
Champagne

Instructions
Shake ingredients (except Champagne) and strain into a flute, top with chilled Champagne, Garnish with blackcurrants
 

 

 

 

FOREST FRUIT

37.5ml TequilaGold
2 Barspoons of Chambord
2 Barspoons of Creme de Mure
2 Barspoons of Cointreau
37.5ml Fresh Lemon juice
2 Blackberries
2 Raspberries

Instructions
Muddle berries in the bottom of an old fashioned glass
Stir in the Chambord and Creme de Mure, add the remaining ingredients and fill the glass with crushed ice
Stir gently lifting the muddled berries into the drink
Garnish with a lemon wedge, a blackberry and a raspberry.

 

 

 

PINA COLADA

50ml Golden Rum
25ml Cream
25ml Coconut milk
50ml Pineapple juice


Instructions
Shake cocktail ingredients with ice and strain over ice into a hurricane glass
Garnish with a pineapple wedge & pineapple leaves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by san at 1:42 AM No comments:

Sunday, December 07, 2008

not the kind of e-mail you want to send at any time - BUT this is SA!

Good morning,
 
In light of the two recent security risks which occurred this weekend at our complex, we feel compelled to increase security at our flat (number X)
 
Guards were shot at and according to reports one of the guards was shot dead. Our complex is extremely close to the location where the incidents occurred, and our safety feels threatened. Last night we even had two guards situated at the bottom of our steps, to keep watch, which is quite alarming.
 
The front windows by our porch are easy access for criminals, thus we feel the need to install burglar guards, kindly find out from the owner which burglar guards can be installed. One of the windows already has a burglar guard, but the other two windows do not.
 
I trust you will appreciate the seriousness of this matter,
 
Thank you,

Kind Regards

 
Posted by san at 11:49 PM No comments:

Thursday, December 04, 2008

ding dong dairy bell...

It's almost xnas!

 
Posted by san at 4:29 AM No comments:

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
- by Winston Churchill

Posted by san at 3:35 AM No comments:
who remembers the THONG SONG?
 
Posted by san at 12:24 AM No comments:

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

house warming this weekend

 
 

 
Posted by san at 3:33 AM No comments:

my new favourite things to do

 
..Is playing mobile scrabble on my phone, and palying battleship!
 
Posted by san at 3:11 AM No comments:

San is going green

 
Posted by san at 3:10 AM No comments:

Word of the day

Cadger:
  • moocher: someone who mooches or cadges (tries to get something free)
    wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

  • Begging means to request something in a supplicating manner, with the implication that the person who is begging will suffer emotional and/or physical harm if the request is not granted.
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadger

  • A hawker or peddler; A beggar
    en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cadger
  •  
    Posted by san at 3:09 AM No comments:

    Telesales

    From now on, when somebody phones me to sell fantastic insurance to me or whatever...

    I am going to tell them that I am a hippy. **** A flower child ****

    I will continue with some ridiculous story about living for today..and enjoying the moment. I will say that society is trying to kill us with all their commercialism, and that I prefer to lead a FREE life. Free from societies constraints..

    Next I will read some hippy mantra to them and spend time trying to convince them to convert to the hippy ways, convince them to also be FREE

    Then of course, I can also break into song:

    The Hippy Killers

    Our Apocalypse 1981
    Teenage vagrants lookinĂ‚´ for some fun
    A renewed promise of prosperity
    A vulgar platform for the world to see
    We were
    The hippy killers
    Busted refuse from broken homes
    Pocked flesh and malacious bones
    Creatures sustained by desire, heart, and soul
    Nothing to leave and nowhere to go
    We were
    The hippy killers
    Good days during horrible times
    Overused bodies, neglected minds
    Should to shoulder we formed as one
    The next miserable generation
    We were
    The hippy killers

    Then - they would be forced to list me as mentally insane on their database, and I will have peace and quiet!

    And peace, ironically, was something the hippies believed in

    Posted by san at 3:05 AM No comments:

    pet hate

    I hate it when women look at my gym monitor while I am on a machine...they annoy me! And after looking at my monitor, I hear them changing things on their own one...Women in general, are pathetically competitive creatures
    Posted by san at 2:55 AM No comments:

    3rd baby shower this year

    ..is happening today!
    Posted by san at 2:53 AM No comments:

    pursuit of happyness

    what a sad movie!

    :-(

    Posted by san at 2:51 AM No comments:

    Tuesday, December 02, 2008

    i failed Accounts...
     
    :-(
    Posted by san at 11:00 PM No comments:

    the moon last night

    ..It was something that happens only once every couple of hundred years..where Mars and Jupiter line up right next to the sickle-shaped moon
     
    It looked like to Islam 'halaal' sign...
     
    Very odd

     

     
    Posted by san at 2:03 AM No comments:

    i dislike...

    i dislike people who are overly dramatic...

    Posted by san at 12:30 AM No comments:

    Monday, December 01, 2008

    Worst function of my life!

    Ok, imagine this...

    You arrive at La Rouge restaurant (on CR Swart Drive) at 19:30, they bustle you and 90 other corporate people into the dining area. Just to have you sit and wait...

    The waitors avoid eye contact with you, so getting a drink is nearly impossible...

    Choices for starters are (A) Raw springbok (B) Mussels (C) Blue cheese biltong salad..May I add that we only got our starters at 21:15! And it was terrible! The cheese had the flavour that throwing up leaves in your mouth...

    The main meal only arrived at 23:15..and nothing special, they dumped meat on a plate with some chips.

    And desert just never came...

    The favours at the end of the event were big brown paper bags with ONE chocolate in it and for the guys the same brown paper packet with 3 pieces of biltong

    It is a terrible venue, if you are ever contemplating where to eat..remember to avoid this place!

     

     
    Posted by san at 12:18 AM No comments:

    Mall rage

    I was walking in the mall,then these two ladies stop DEADstill in front of a shop entrance, blocking my path.

    I said excuse me twice, but they still did not move.
     
    Eventually I bashed them with my packets, by accident, of course...
     
    Bunch of idiots!
     
    Posted by san at 12:04 AM No comments:

    San's latest obsession

    I have green fingers!

    I started off with 3 plants two months ago..and now, I have 7 plants. And I am growing tomatoes and avo too!

    I am so proud of my plants! :-) and yes, I do chat to them

    Posted by san at 12:00 AM No comments:

    Friday, November 28, 2008

    hee hee

    • Don't let your mind wander - it is too small to be left out on its own
    • Never go to bed angry - stay up and plot your revenge
    • Don't believe everything you think

     

     

    Posted by san at 4:50 AM No comments:

    busy busy

    Sooo, I have a busy weekend planned..
     
    Tomorrow is a wedding, and tomorrow evening night a year-end function...
     
    I are a busy girrl
     
    Posted by san at 4:47 AM No comments:

    fat kid wants a pie

     
    Posted by san at 4:22 AM No comments:

    body language

    ·       Attentive body language: Showing real interest.

    Ignoring distractions

    There are many competing stimuli that demand our attention. If a person ignores distraction, from phone calls to other people interrupting, then they send strong  'I am interested’ signals

    Stillness

    When the listener is largely still, the implication is of forgetting everything else except the other person, with not even internal dialogue being allowed to distract.

    Leaning forward

    The person will lean slightly towards you, perhaps to better hear everything you have to say

    Tilted head

    An attentive head may be tilted slightly forward. It also may show curiosity when tilted to the side (although this may also indicate uncertainty).

    Gaze

    An attentive person looks at the other person without taking their gaze away. They will likely blink less, almost for fear of missing something.

    Furrowed brow

    Concentration may also be shown in the forehead as the eyebrows are brought together as the listener seeks to hear and understand the other person.

    Wanting more

    An attentive person seeks not just to hear but to be ready to listen to everything the other person has to say.

    Patience

    When you want to hear more from the other person you are patient, listening until they have finished speaking and not butting in with your views.

    Open body

    Open body language shows that you are not feeling defensive and are mentally open to what they have to say

    Slow nodding

    Nodding shows agreement and also encourages the other person to keep talking. Fast nodding may show impatience, whilst a slower nod indicates understanding and approval.

    Interest noises

    Little noises such as 'uh huh' and 'mmm' show that you are interested, understand and want to hear more.

    Reflecting

    When you reflect the other person back to them they feel affirmed and that you are aligned with them. Reflecting activities range from matching body language to paraphrasing what they say.

    ·       Bored body language: Just not being interested.

    Distraction

    A bored person looks anywhere but at the person who is talking to them. They find other things to do, from doodling to staring around the room, to looking at their watch or a wall clock.

    Repetition

    Bored people often repeat actions such as tapping toes, swinging feet or drumming fingers. The repetition may escalate as they try to signal their boredom.

    Tiredness

    A person who feels that they are unable to act to relieve their boredom may show signs of tiredness. They may yawn and their whole body may sag as they slouch down in their seat, lean against a wall or just sag where they are standing.

    ·       Closed body language: 

    Language of closure

    Closure literally closes the body up.

    Arms across

    In a closed positions one or both arms cross the central line of the body. They may be folded or tightly clasped or holding one another. There may also be holding one another.

    Lighter arm crossing may include resting an arm on a table or leg, or loosely crossed with wrists crossing.

    Varying levels of tension may be seen in the arms and shoulders, from a relaxed droop to tight tension and holding on to the body or other arms.

    Legs across

    Legs, likewise can be crossed. There are several styles of leg crossing, including the ankle cross, the knee cross, the figure-four (ankle on opposite knee) and the tense wrap-around.

    Legs may also wrap around convenient other objects, such as chair legs.

    When legs are crossed but arms are not, it can show deliberate attempts to appear relaxed. This is particularly true when legs are hidden under a table.

    Looking down or away

    The head may be inclined away from the person, and particularly may be tucked down.

    ·       Deceptive body language: Seeking to cover up lying or other deception.

    Anxiety

    A deceptive person is typically anxious that they might be found out, so they may send signals of tension. This may include sweating, sudden movements, minor twitches of muscles (especially around the mouth and eyes), changes in voice tone and speed.

    Control

    Signs of attempted friendly body language, such as forced smiles (mouth smiles but eyes do not), jerky movements and clumsiness or oscillation between open body language and defensive body language.

    The person may also try to hold their body still, to avoid tell-tale signals. For example they may hold their arms in or put their hands in their pockets.

    Distracted

    A person who is trying to deceive needs to think more about what they are doing, so they may drift off or pause as they think about what to say or hesitate during speech.

    They may also be distracted by the need to cover up. Thus their natural timing may go astray and they may over- or under-react to events.

    Anxiety may be displaced into actions such as fidgeting, moving around the place or paying attention to unusual places.

    ·       Dominant body language: Dominating others.

    Size signals

    The body in dominant stances is generally open, and may also include additional aspects.

    Making the body big

    Hands on hips makes the elbows go wide and make the body seem larger. So also does standing upright and erect, with the chin up and the chest thrust out. Legs may be placed apart to increase size.

    Making the body high

    This can be achieved by standing up straight or somehow getting the other person lower than you, for example by putting them on a lower seat or by your standing on a step or plinth.

    Occupying territory

    By invading and occupying territory that others may own or use, control and dominance is indicated. A dominant person may thus stand with feet akimbo and hands on hips.

    Superiority signals

    Ownership

    Owning something that others covet provides a status symbol. This can be territorial, such as a larger office, or displays of wealth or power, such as a Rolex watch or having many subordinates.

    Just owning things is an initial symbol, but in body language it is the flaunting of these, often casually, that is the power display. Thus a senior manager will casually take out their Mont Blanc pen whilst telling their secretary to fetch the Havana cigars.

    Invasion

    A dominant act is to disrespect the ownership of others, invading their territory, for example getting too close to them by moving into their body space. Other actions include sitting on their chairs, leaning on their cars, putting feet up on their furniture .

    Invasion says 'What's yours is mine' and 'I can take anything of yours that I want and you cannot stop me'.

    Belittling others

    Superiority signals are found both in saying 'I am important' and also 'You are not important'. Thus a dominant person may ignore or interrupt another person who is speaking or turn away from them. They may also criticize the inferior person, including when the other person can hear them.

    Facial signals

    Much dominance can be shown in the face, from disapproving frowns and pursed lips to sneers and snarls (sometimes disguised as smiles).

    The eyes can be used to stare and hold the gaze for long period. They may also squint, preventing the other person seeing where you are looking. They may also look at anywhere but the other person, effectively saying that 'you are not even worth looking at'.

    Faces can also look bored, amused or express other expressions that belittle the other person.

    Dominant people often smile much less than submissive people.

    The dominant greeting

    When people first meet and greet, their first interaction sets the pattern for the future relationship. When a person is dominant here, then they will most likely continue to be dominant.

    The handshake

    A classic dominant handshake is with the palm down, symbolically being on top. Another form of dominant handshake is to use strength to squeeze the other person.

    Holding the other person's hand for longer than normal also shows that you are in control.

    Eyes

    Prolonged, unblinking eye contact acts like overplaying the handshake -- it says 'I am powerful, I can break the rules.' The dominant person may alternatively prevent eye contact, saying 'You are beneath me and I do not want even to look at you.'

    Speaking

    The person who speaks first often gets to control the conversation, either by talking for longer or by managing the questions.

    Responding to dominance

    If others display dominant body language you have a range of options.

    The simplest response is simply not to submit, which is what they probably want. Continue to appear friendly and ignore their subtle signals.

    Another response is to fight dominance with dominance, for example:

    ·       Out-stare them (a trick here is to look at the bridge of their nose, not their eyes).

    ·       When they do a power handshake, grab their elbow and step to the side.

    ·       When they butt in to your speech, speed up, talk more loudly and say 'let me finish!'

    Another approach is to name the game. Ask them why they are using dominant body language. A good way to do this is in a curious, unafraid way

    ·       Emotional body language: Identifying feelings.

    Anger

    ·       Neck and/or face are red or flushed.

    ·       Baring of teeth and snarling.

    ·       Clenched fists.

    ·       Leaning forward and invasion of body space.

    Fear, anxiety and nervousness

    Fear occurs when basic needs are threatened. There are many levels of fear, from mild anxiety to blind terror. The many bodily changes caused by fear make it easy to detect.

    ·       A 'cold sweat'.

    ·       Pale face.

    ·       Dry mouth, which may be indicated by licking lips, drinking water, rubbing throat.

    ·       Not looking at the other person.

    ·       Damp eyes.

    ·       Trembling lip.

    ·       Varying speech tone.

    ·       Speech errors.

    ·       Voice tremors.

    ·       Visible high pulse (noticeable on the neck or movement of crossed leg.

    ·       Sweating.

    ·       Tension in muscles: clenched hands or arms, elbows drawn in to the side, jerky movements, legs wrapped around things.

    ·       Gasping and holding breath.

    ·       Fidgeting.

    ·       Defensive body language, including crossed arms and legs and generally drawing in of limbs.

    ·       Ready body language (for fight-or-flight)

    ·       Other symptoms of stress

    Embarrassment

    Embarrassment may be caused by guilt or transgression of values.

    ·       Neck and/ or face are red or flushed.

    ·       Looking down or away from others. Not looking them in the eye.

    ·       Grimacing, false smile, changing the topic or otherwise trying to cover up the embarrassment.

    Surprise

    Surprise occurs when things occur that were not expected.

    ·       Raised eyebrows.

    ·       Widening of eyes.

    ·       Open mouth.

    ·       Sudden backward movement.

    Happiness

    Happiness occurs when goals and needs are met.

    ·       General relaxation of muscles.

    ·       Smiling (including eyes).

    ·       Open body language

    ·       Evaluating body language: Judging and deciding about something.

    Language of evaluation

    Hand movements

    The classic signal of evaluation is the steepled hands which are clasped together, either looking like they are praying, with both hands pressed together, or with linked fingers and with index fingers only pointing upwards. The fingers pointing upwards may touch the lips.

    Another common evaluative movement is stroking, often of the chin but possibly other parts of the face.

    Other actions

    Other evaluative signals include pursing lips, stroking the side of the nose and (if worn) peering over the top of spectacles (‘to look more carefully at you').

    Relaxed intensity

    The body may well be relaxed and open. The person seems to be unafraid or even unaware of danger. However there is also a level of concentration, perhaps with pursed lips and an intense gaze. The chin may be resting in one or both palms.

    ·       Greeting body language: Meeting rituals.

    Handshake

    Variables

    Handshake variables include:

    ·       Strength (weak - strong)

    ·       Temperature (cold - hot)

    ·       Moisture (damp - dry)

    ·       Fullness of grip (full - partial)

    ·       Duration (brief - long)

    ·       Speed (slow - fast)

    ·       Complexity (shake - dance)

    ·       Texture (rough - smooth)

    ·       Eye contact (prolonged - intermittent - none)

    Styles

    A firm grip shows confidence, whilst a limp grip may indicate timidity, particularly in men (women may be expected to be more gentile).

    Palm down indicates dominance and a feeling of superiority ('I am on top'). Palm sideways indicate equality. Palm up indicates submission.

    A long handshake can indicate pleasure and can signal dominance, particularly if one person tries to pull away and the dominant person does not let them.

    Dominance may also be shown by using the other hand to grip the person, such as at the wrist, elbow, arm or shoulder. This may also be done by gripping the shaken hand with both of your hands. This may also indicate affection or pleasure (which allows for an ambiguous signal).

    A variant of the dominant handshake which is used by politicians who are being photographed and hence shake hands side-by-side is to stand on the left hand side of the other person. This means your hand will be on the outside and it will look like you are the dominant party to those viewing the photograph.

    Responses to the dominant handshake can include counter-touching (use your other hand to hold their hand, wrist, elbow, arm or shoulder), hugging (pull them in), thrusting (push them away by pushing your hand towards them) and stepping the side.

    Hand-touching is also used, for example the 'high five', where open palms are touched high in the air, or where closed fists are tapped. Where the other person is not gripped, the origins may be in potentially aggressive situations where holding of another could be construed as a threatening act.

    Salute

    ·       Open body language: Many reasons for being open.

    Language of openness

    The open stance has arms and legs not crossed in any way. They may also be moving in various ways.

    Arms open

    Arms are not crossed and may be animated and moving in synchronization with what is being said or held wide.

    Palms are also relaxed and may be quite expressive, for example appearing to hold things and form more detailed shapes. Open hands show that nothing is being concealed.

    Legs open

    Open legs are not crossed. Often they are parallel. They may even be stretched apart.

    The feet are of interest in open legs and may point forward or to the side or at something or someone of interest.

    Looking around and at the other person

    The head may be directed solely towards the other person or may be looking around. Eye contact is likely to be relaxed and prolonged.

    Relaxed clothing

    Clothing is likely to hang loosely and actions to loosen clothing may take place, such as removing a jacket and unbuttoning a collar.

    ·       Power body language: Demonstrating one's power.

    Greeting

    Handshake

    As the other person approaches, move to left side, extend your arm horizontally, palm down (be first to do this). Grab their palm firmly, pull them in and hold their elbow with your left hand.

    The horizontal arm is an admissible signal. Palm on top is being dominant, putting yourself on top. Holding the elbow further controls them.

    The royal handshake is outstretched arm to keep the other at their distance. A limp hand, palm down, stops them doing a power shake.

    Touching

    Touching is power symbol. Touching people can be threatening, and is used by leaders to demonstrate power. The handshake is, of course, a touch, and can lead to further touching, such as the elbow grip and patting shoulders and back.

    Speaking

    Talking

    Talk with confidence and use the body beat in time with assertions. Beat with a finger, a palm or even a fist (which is rather aggressive). Emphasize and exaggerate your points.

    Use silences too. Pause in the middle of speaking and look around at everyone. If you are not interrupted they are probably respecting your power. Stand confidently without speaking. Look around, gazing into people's eyes for slightly longer than usual.

    Emoting

    It is powerful to show that you have emotion, but in the right place only. At other times it emphasizes how you are in control. A neat trick is to bite the lower lip, as it shows both emotion and control (Bill Clinton did it 15 times in 2 minutes during the Monica Lewinsky 'confession').

    Walking

    When walking with others, be in front of them. When going through doors, if you are going to an audience, go first. If you are going from an audience, go last (guiding others through shows dominance).

    ·       Ready body language: Wanting to act and waiting for the trigger.

    Language of readiness

    A ready body is poised for action.

    Pointing

    Any part of the body may be pointing at where the person is thinking about. This may be another person or the door. This may be as subtle as a foot or as obvious as the whole body leaning.

    Tension

    The body is tensed up and ready for action. If sitting, hands may hold onto armrests in readiness to get up. Legs are tensed ready to lift the body. Things in the hand are gripped

    Hooking

    The hands may slightly hook clothing, in particular with thumbs hooked into the waistband. This is like a not-quite putting of hands in pockets, indicating the person is relaxed but ready to move quickly.

    Movement

    Where there is movement, it is in preparation for further movement. Legs uncross. Hands grab bags, straighten clothing, and so on. The whole body leans in the intended direction.

    ·       Submissive body language: Showing you are prepared to give in.

    Body positions

    The body in fearful stances is generally closed, and may also include additional aspects.

    Making the body small

    Hunching inwards reduces the size of the body, limiting the potential of being hit and protecting vital areas. In a natural setting, being small may also reduce the chance of being seen. Arms are held in. A crouching position may be taken, even slightly with knees slightly bent. This is approaching the curled-up regressive fetal position.

    Motionlessness

    By staying still, the chance of being seen is, in a natural setting, reduced (which is why many animals freeze when they are fearful). When exposed, it also reduces the chance of accidentally sending signals which may be interpreted as being aggressive. It also signals submission in that you are ready to be struck and will not fight back.

    Head down

    Turning the chin and head down protects the vulnerable neck from attack. It also avoids looking the other person in the face (staring is a sign of aggression).

    Eyes

    Widening the eyes makes you look more like a baby and hence signals your vulnerability.

    Looking attentively at the other person shows that you are hanging on their every word.

    Mouth

    Submissive people smile more at dominant people, but they often smile with the mouth but not with the eyes.

    Submissive gestures

    There are many gestures that have the primary intent of showing submission and that there is no intent to harm the other person. Hands out and palms up shows that no weapons are held and is a common pleading gesture.

    Other gestures and actions that indicate tension may indicate the state of fear. This includes hair tugging, face touching and jerky movement. There may also be signs such as whiteness of the face and sweating.

    Small gestures

    When the submissive person must move, then small gestures are often made. These may be slow to avoid alarming the other person, although tension may make them jerky.

    Posted by san at 1:19 AM No comments:
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