A week in San's life

The spider

 

I bounced into my flat at about 09:00 after a gruelling gym session.

I was looking forward to an avo saarmie.

As I walk to the fridge, I spot the 8-legged monster on the wall next to the fridge, RIGHT NEXT TO the fridge.

 

Ugh...is my first reaction, and then I jump into combat mode. I look for DOOM in the cupboard. But there is nothing poisonous in the cupboard. The only can that sprays out environmentally damaging fumes is the Mr Min, furniture polish.

 

That will have to do then.

 

I spray Mr Spidey, and see him lift a leg in a 'say-goodbye-to-little-Jimmy', kind of way.

 

Feeling satisfied, patting myself on the back for a job well done, I return to the business of finishing that sarmie.

 

When I turn back to the spot where Mr Spidey was last seen, there is now only a blank space left.

 

What the...

 

"Where is that sneaky Spidey?"

 

The forewarned apology:

 

I arrange a provita snack for myself, when I hear a knock on the door.

 

My Neighbour.

 

He says: "It is my Birthday.."

 

My first reaction: "Ok.."

 

He says: " And you know I am black.."

 

Me: "Ja..."

 

He continues: "Well, I am having a party and you know black people are loud, I just wanted to apologise in advance"

 

Me: "Oh, not to worry, it happens once a year, and Happy Birthday by the way!"

 

mmmm

 

The hollywood moment:

 

I stepped my gold heeled shoe on the bottom step, as I am about to greet a candidate.

 

At that moment, my fringe slips over my cheek and I flip it back in a "Baywatch kind of way...

 

Unfortunately, the candidate spots me in my mooovie moment..

 

How embarassing