chuck it! Happy Birthday Chuck - 70 years old!

• When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly - he changes the world economy
• Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of lemons
• Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the table of elements, because Chuck only believes in the element of surprise
• Chuck Norris is one eigth Cherokee, not because of his bloodline, but because he ate a Cherokee
• Chuck Norris once had sleeping tablets...it only made him blink
• Chuck Norris talks about Fight Club
• Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter, he just round-house kicks the cow until the butter comes out
• They tried to carve Chuck Norris's face out of mount rushmore...but the granite wasn't hard enough to make his beard
• The Bermuda triangle used to be the Bermuda square, until Chuck Norris round-house kicked one of the corners off
• Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks
• Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's - Already Been Chucked
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake, before someone could tell him there was a stripper in it
• The chemical for toxic Cyanide is CN - these are also Chuck's initials, this is not a coincidence
• They once made a Chuck Norris toiletpaper, problem was, it wouldn't take cr*p from anybody
• Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
• When Chuck Norris pays taxes, he submits a blank form and a photo of himself. Chuck doesn't pay taxes, ever
• There is no global warming. Chuck Norris was cold and turned the sun up
• Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day
• When Chuck donates blood, he declines the syringe. He asks for a handgun and a bucket